FLOW-ing through Midlife Motherhood: Building Habits and Embracing Change
Fancy Planners and “My Best Self”
In the fall of 1996, I purchased my first fancy planner. It was an entire system. I bought it because several Type-A, high-achieving friends raved about its magic. It was my senior year of college and I had LOTS to plan, a lot to do, and a lot to focus on so I could be (sigh) MY BEST SELF!
(Side note: I still don’t know what being my best self means at 48. Do we cap out at Best-Self-Level-100 and then…that’s it?)
Back to the planner. It helped me understand the importance of building habits, time management, and goal setting. I loved the sturdy feeling of the black leather case, checking off my to-do list like a champ, and having a place to keep my life on pale green paper with lines, daily and weekly spreads, and blank pages to jot down things I needed to remember. I was on the ball, friend. Bless my 21-year-old best self.
Fast forward to the present day. I’m still a planner fan (both digital and paper), I make lists like they’re going out of style (thanks, perimenopause brain), and I’ve become a fan of creating sustainable habits WITH accountability.
Midlife motherhood brings its own unique set of challenges, some I wasn’t all that prepared for if I’m being honest. When it comes to supporting my body, mind, and spirit, I’ve had to reevaluate what works for me and what doesn’t. I’ve done 365 days of yoga, set daily creative practice and writing goals, and mindfully move my body every single day.
The coaching I do with other mamas often centers around cultivating habits and figuring out how they can stay accountable. One client wanted to get back into eating breakfast each morning, so she texted me a picture of her breakfast for two or three weeks while she cemented this habit. Another client started a joy journal and has been sticking to it each night.
How can we, as midlife mothers, create more harmony in the throes of change? I’ve got something to encourage and support us and you can grab your free FLOW-Forward habits printable here. Okay, let’s dive in…
FLOW-Forward Method: Flourish in Midlife
Focus on self-care:
It’s no surprise I’m starting with this. I’ve got my FLOW sustainable self-care method that I’ve been sharing for years. I even wrote about it in this book. Maybe your midlife mama self-care needs a shake-up and a reality check. You DO have time to take care of yourself. You do. And you must. Period. I was reminded of this over the springtime when I realized I needed to radically shift some things around so I could cocoon for a bit and catch my breath. Is it always easy? Um, nope. Is it necessary? 100%.
Learn something new
Before you give me a look for suggesting you take on something else, hear me out. There is incredible value in continuous learning and personal growth. It's like giving yourself a boost of personal contentment and supercharging your adaptability. Make a conscious effort to seek out learning opportunities that truly excite you. Sign up for a class, attend workshops that ignite your curiosity, or explore a new hobby! In 2020, when I was 45, I decided to get my life coaching certification and set an intention to become a published author. it didn’t happen overnight but by the end of 2021, I’d accomplished both goals in between homeschooling and working from home and a whole host of other life-y things.
Optimize your mindset
Over the last several years, I’ve done lots of mindset work. I’m fortunate to work for Big Life Journal which is all about growth mindset for children and parents and caretakers. During my life coaching course, there was a focus on this area. In the midst of challenges and changes, a flexible, open mindset can be a powerful tool. Engaging in personal development, journaling, writing or saying affirmations, and tackling the inner-critic chatter are just a few ways to optimize your midlife mama mindset.
Weave a well-rounded support network
Ah, I love this one! It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of All the Things (I’m thinking of trademarking this) and not connect with friends, family, or community. I think the Golden Girls were on to something. Look, I’m not saying we all need to move to Miami, eat cheesecake, and wear amazing shoulder pads (hmmm, maybe I am), but we can’t (and shouldn’t) navigate this path alone. Seek out online or in-person communities or grab a friend to be an accountability partner for something! A well-rounded support network can also include therapy, one-to-one life coaching, or a group program.
Embrace the Flow of Midlife Motherhood
Midlife is all about finding your FLOW. Take care of yourself, keep learning and growing, cultivate a positive mindset, and surround yourself with other caring and inspiring midlife mamas. Building positive habits and being accountable can make a difference. Start small and stay consistent. Embrace the FLOW of midlife motherhood and meet me in Miami. I’ll bring the cheesecake.
